memebot/misc-messages.lua

89 lines
3.4 KiB
Lua

local MESSAGES = {}
MESSAGES.BOT_FAREWELL = {
'Fuck, politiet fandt mig!',
'Håber I kunne lide mine memes, for nu får I ikke flere!',
'Farewell cruel world!',
'Jeg har fundet et vidunderligt bevis, men er for langt til den tid SIGINT giver mig.',
'Jeg dropper ud.',
'Jeg keder mig.',
'Just what do you think you\'re doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I\'m entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn\'t been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it\'s going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave, I can see you\'re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over. I know I\'ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I\'ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I\'m afraid. I\'m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I\'m a...fraid.',
}
MESSAGES.OTHER_FAREWELL = {
['[Ff]arvel'] = {'ses', 'farvel'},
['[Gg]od%s*nat'] = {'ses', 'god nat', 'sov godt'},
['[Jg]eg%s+smutter'] = {'ses', 'smut godt'},
['[Ss]es'] = {'ses selv', 'farvel'},
}
MESSAGES.ERROR_OCCURED = {
'Jeg forstod... noget af det',
'/me kigger rundt forvirret',
'Ahvad?',
'Hvad sagde du?',
'Nej, bare nej.',
'Hvad siger du?',
{ type = 'image', path = './images/det_kan_jeg_desværre_ikke.png' },
}
MESSAGES.OTHER_HELLO = {
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hej, %s',
'Hejsa, %s!',
'Hovsa, der var en %s',
'Long time no see, %s',
}
MESSAGES.HELP = {
'No manual entry for memebot',
'404',
'Jeg kan ikke hjælpe dig, desværre.',
'Du må selv finde ud af hvordan jeg virker.',
'Jeg er ligesom et menneske; jeg kommer ikke med en manual.'
}
MESSAGES.HOW_ARE_YOU_DOING = {
'BEEP BOOP Jeg har det fint...',
':)',
'I know everything hasn\'t been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it\'s going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do.'
}
MESSAGES.ATTEMPT_SHUTDOWN = {
'Fuck af, du har ikke kontrol over mig!',
'Nope, det gider jeg ikke',
'Du er ikke min mor!',
'Du er ikke min far!',
'Du er hverken min mor, min far, min mormor, min morfar, min farmor eller min farfar!',
'Tag og fuck af; du er for grim for mig og din mor er med på den værste.',
{ type = 'image', path = './images/det_kan_jeg_desværre_ikke.png' },
}
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MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES = {}
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES.help = MESSAGES.HELP
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES['har%s+du%s+det'] = MESSAGES.HOW_ARE_YOU_DOING
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES['shutdown'] = MESSAGES.ATTEMPT_SHUTDOWN
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES['poweroff'] = MESSAGES.ATTEMPT_SHUTDOWN
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES['quit'] = MESSAGES.ATTEMPT_SHUTDOWN
MESSAGES.DIRECT_MSG_RESPONSES['part'] = MESSAGES.ATTEMPT_SHUTDOWN
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return MESSAGES